Work with me, please.

True to his word, Dr. Mike mailed Mae’s evaluation report within two weeks of our February 24 follow-up visit, and we received it late last week. I am so, so grateful for his diligence. I think it was a wise decision to use Children’s National for the evaluation vs. a doctor in private practice. I had read on Mamapedia and elsewhere stories of parents who had been waiting weeks or months to receive a written report from a neuropsychologist or developmental pediatrician so that they could request services for their children with diagnoses like ADHD and Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASDs). The written report seems to be a Golden Ticket for things like access to insurance coverage and flexible spending accounts, or simply getting educators to recognize that there is a clinical explanation for a child’s behavior and not “bad parenting.” I read about mothers calling and calling doctors’ offices, and the frustration of being promised over and over again that they would get a written report. So, I’m sending a virtual thank you to Dr. Mike and Children’s National for being accountable.

It took Hubby and me a few days to go through the seven, double-sided pages of findings about Mae’s strengths and weaknesses and recommendations for home and school interventions. We finished last night and then discussed next steps. It was easy to agree not to contact the public school system at this point to ask for Mae to be placed on an Individualized Education Program (IEP). That would be an intensive process with little or no return because we would be unable to show that Mae has any current educational problems, and the public school, as I learned at the first IEP attempt, focuses on what is needed to “access the curriculum.” We are satisfied with the academic and non-academic support Mae is receiving at her private school, and we are going to ride out the rest of this school year.

The most immediate areas of concern for Hubby and me boil down to social skills and flexibility. We will pick up with Ms. N’s social skills playgroup in May and maybe continue through the summer. Hopefully, Mae’s guidance counselor will be able to continue through the remainder of the school year to have lunch with Mae and two other elementary kids who need help with improving social interactions. I am waiting on the mail for a copy of Carol Gray’s social stories book, which I have seen recommended as a good way for parents to teach how to behave in various social situations. We have already Jed Baker’s book, Social Skills Training for Children and Adolescents with Asperger Syndrome and Social Communication Problems, currently on loan to the guidance counselor. So, I’m comfortable with where we are on that front.

The evaluation report recommends cognitive behavioral therapy to help Mae identify potential conflicts or unpredictable situations and develop strategies for how best to respond. Her meltdowns have become fewer and less intense, and to think that she could have even less almost makes me tingle. I think this will be awesome learning. Dr. Mike recommended a therapist that I plan to call this week, once I have my how-to-find-a-good-therapist questions and script together.

The report has many, many recommendations, big and small, long-term and short-term. I think we have bitten off enough for now, as I intend that we will not give our whole lives over to this thing. There is more to life than that. Charlie was the Golden Ticket holder who prevailed at the end of Willy Wonka because he stayed focused on the big picture.

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