Work with me, please.

Lego the Ego

Mae got in trouble early last week for throwing a Lego piece at one of her classmates after they argued over who should clean up the Lego pieces that Mae spread over the floor.  Guess who Mae thought should clean up the mess?  Not her.

She ended the school week on blue, for “hurting some classmates during recess.” Some?  I asked how many.  Mae answered, “12 or 13.”  Thinking maybe she was confused about how to estimate a number, I asked her to name the kids.  She named four.  So, I said, with relief, it wasn’t 12 or 13.  Then, she explained in more detail.  They were playing tag or chase.  She tagged some kids and some of them didn’t like it.  When the kids returned to the classroom after recess, they started telling Teacher that Mae had hurt them.  According to Mae, Teacher asked the class how many of them had been hurt by Mae during recess, and 12 or 13 of them raised their hand.  Mae has 19 classmates.

It’s a strange story.  She told it in what sounded like a truthful manner.  By and large, she’s an honest kid and, even though she can be dramatic and colorful, she talked to me in a calm and even tone.  We talked about what will happen is she’s not nice to her friends (she won’t have any).  I told her that her friends like her best when she is nice, kind, sharing, fun, funny and polite.  I know that she understands that.  She gets “carried away,” in her words, at times.  Her face went sad, and she asked that we not tell Dr. Laura.  She thinks that Dr. Laura will get mad at her.  I tried to reassure her that Dr. Laura will not get mad, and I told her, in case she was wondering, that I wasn’t mad at her — just disappointed to hear her say that she’d treated her classmates in a hurtful way.

I’m reserving further judgment about what happened until I have a chance to talk to Teacher myself.  I’ve emailed her and requested a phone call on Monday.  Usually, Teacher calls or emails if Mae has a bad day.  And, Friday was clearly a bad day.  Mae didn’t even finish her math during class.  I couldn’t get a clear explanation of that either.  The worksheet had a red checkmark for the first problem, and red x’s by the remaining four problems — totally unlike Mae.  She could only tell me that she didn’t finish and that she started crying when she didn’t finish.


On a happier note, we made it to Dharma for Kids today for the first time in a very long time, and both Mae and Jay did a good job of meditating (for all of the two minutes that the teacher led the group in meditation — gotta start somewhere) and participating in the activities.  The day got even better when we beat the thunderstorm and made it to Brookside Gardens.  We saw magnificent gardens, butterflies and moths.  I even managed to plant a few flowers myself once we made it home.  It has been a beautiful Sunday, and I hope this signifies a good week for all of us, especially Mae.


Comments on: "Lego the Ego" (3)

  1. Rebecca said:

    Keep the faith my friend. It’s so good that you are sharing this stuff. I don’t know why I just thought of the following idea, but I’m going to share it: since sometimes it’s easier to learn when there is something concrete, have you thought about creating a toolbox–the Handy Manny toolbox kept popping into my head–not actually to use that, but making something that she can carry, so she can pull out the patience card or the kindness little stress ball or the share “hand” so she can stop and thing…which social skill do I need to use now? The experience of telling Dr. Laura will be good because she can safely tell her something and solve it with her. Hope it’s a great week. Good thing you planted and got your hands dirty. That’s great for the soul.

    • Yeah, Dr. Laura is good at suggesting tools. One was a wheel that Mae made on Saturday with different things she can do to calm herself, and she can spin the wheel and then do whatever is on the triangle where the hand lands.

  2. I can so relate to this post! Our six year old hits out of frustration, if I get a note I know it’s not good! It is definelty a trip raising kids with special needs! Thanks for sharing it’s nice to know I’m not alone!

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