Congratulations on wowing the kids at the birthday boy’s 8th. There must have been at least twenty kids, most of them eight and under. I imagine that would be a tough crowd for anyone. The kids liked the show immensely, no doubt. The odd thing is that my impression is that you don’t like kids.
You delivered your rules pretty sternly at the opening, especially the no-eating rule. The host mom did serve bags of chips just as you were about to begin. In the future, you may want to talk to the host mom about your rules before the party. Telling the kids that you would be distracted by their crunching and bag rustling, and then making them put their bags of chips on the table seemed, well, a little cold. “You’ll remember which one’s yours.” Yeah, right.
And, then, that bit about the birthday boy’s two-year brother — “He’s got to go.” Well, let me just say that if I were the host mom, you would have had to work around him.
Telling the kids not to ask questions or try to guess what was going to happen, telling them that they don’t know everything? It was how you talked to them. I suppose it’s possible that I’m sensitive about how people talk to my children. Maybe I’ve been spoiled by the many professionals I know who like children and speak to them with respect, value their curious minds, and know how to direct or redirect their boundless energy. Even if I am sensitive, I know from the glances that the parents exchanged that I wasn’t the only one wondering “What the heck?”
Ok, asking parents to silence cell phones is reasonable. No texting? Is it really that serious? And, I wasn’t texting anyway. I was trying to update my Facebook status to tell my friends that I was at a drill sergeant’s magic show. You didn’t have to take my phone.
At any rate, I wish you continued success in your career. I wish you a vast abundance of opportunities to share your craft with adults. I know times are tough; maybe you’re taking on kids’ birthday parties to make ends meet. Whatever is going on with you, work on the kid-friendly thing. Best of luck.